


No Regrets

by nothingelsematters



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Flashbacks, Gen, Memories, after THAT announcement, bros being bros, jump on it camp, let's all be sad together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-26 02:11:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14392056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingelsematters/pseuds/nothingelsematters
Summary: Josh and Max go get a drink after the big announcement.* and by get a drink, it was non-alcoholic because Josh isn't allowed. And Max has to teach tomorrow.** okay, it was coffee. they were both pretty tired.





	No Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Why is it that even if you know something is coming, it still hurts so flipping much? I mean, it's been pretty obvious for months, but I've still been crying on and off since the announcement.
> 
> If you haven't watch the Q&A, I recommend doing so, not just because of the announcement, but because it's really interesting, and Max is also really funny.

Of course, the end of the Q&A wasn't the end of Max's evening. As soon as he stepped down from the stage, he was swamped by people - both campers and coaches, telling him how much they admired him, how much they loved him, how much they were going to miss him. It took him aback, a little. He wasn't used to being showered in affection; even some of the officials who had spent his whole career criticising his lack of artistry were coming up to shake his hand.

And then it was Tom by his side, Tom beaming bright with pride and his eyes shining with the tears he wouldn't allow himself to shed, Tom wrapping his arms around Max in a rare display of physical affection, and Max felt a hot ball forming in his throat, willing himself to keep it together because he didn't want to start crying in front of all these people.

"I'm proud of you, Max," Tom said gruffly, and Max knew he was doing the same - trying to keep himself together. And Max knew - knew that for all it had seemed Tom had favoured Mirai and Vincent this season, that Max was still Tom's number one. Ten years was a long time to be part of someone's life.

"Thanks, Tom," Max replied. "For everything."

"It was my honour," Tom smiled, and Max smiled back, and for a moment, standing with them, was the shy sixteen-year-old, timid and anxious about his back, and the coach who had stood by his side and promised him that he could help, that they would make Max a star.

And they had.

*

By the time Max got through everyone in the room - and how could he just leave when so many people wanted to talk to him? - he was rather tired, and just wanted some peace and quiet. To his surprise, he was now feeling rather sad, and he wondered at himself. He had made this decision weeks ago - months ago, really - so how was it that he was sad about it?

"I'd be more surprised if you weren't," a familiar voice said.

Max looked up, and there was Josh leaning against the door frame, a smile on his face, his beard scruffy, his eyes bright.

"If I wasn't what?" Max said.

"Sad. Come on Max, we've known each other ten years, I know that expression on your face. You're sad, and you're surprised about it."

Max huffed a laugh.

"I guess you got me," he said ruefully.

 "Wanna go get a drink?"

Max blinked at Josh rather suspiciously. "I'm teaching tomorrow."

"Oh! Not - not  _that_ kind of drink. I mean like, coffee or something. I'm not going to get you drunk, it wouldn't be any fun, because I can't drink  _drink_ either."

Max laughed. "All right then. You have to drive. No car."

They made their way out of the building, down to the parking lot where Joshua's baby blue truck stood, looking rather forlorn; the cars around it were gone.

Josh drove them in a companionable silence, the only sound the low singing of Ed Sheeran from the CD player - "My god, you still listen to his whining?" "Oh shut up, like your driving playlist would be any better!" - and Max watched the lights as they drove past them, raising his eyes from the streets to the dark bulk of the mountains against the inky sky.

"Here we are."

Josh had taken them to a rather cute little cafe that was open all night; they knew this place well because it was one of the few places with multiple options that wouldn't kill him or Max.

It didn't take long before they were seated at a booth, cups of coffee in hand, and a familiar quiet settled over them.

"So - so is this really it?" Josh asked. "You're just gonna leave and never skate again?"

"Not - not  _never_ skate again," Max answered. "I'm still gonna do shows, when I'm asked to. And like, never skating again would feel - it would be like never, I don't know, never opening a textbook again just because I was done with college."

"But you're like, done done. No crazy comebacks."

Max laughed. "Not that I can see, anyway."

Josh looked down into his cup. "You know a lot of people thought you shoulda gone another year, right? I mean like, it's opening up. If Adam and Ross don't - and the rules are changing. And you're still like, way high on the lists."

"I know," Max paused, took a sip. "You don't think I didn't consider it? And mum and dad were willing, they said they'd support me if I wanted to do it. But - I couldn't. I felt like - like - I don't know, a boat or something, untied from the dock and just kinda - adrift. I put everything into making that team. What was another season gonna do? Prove to myself and everyone else that the kids are now kicking my ass?"

"You beat one of those kids at Worlds," Josh pointed out.

Max sighed.

"It feels like the right time, you know?" he said quietly. "It's the end of the cycle, I'm not - Jesus, I'll be 30 by the next Olympics, and I'm not Plushenko, I'm not that crazy. And there's other stuff I want to do, while I'm young enough to do it. Start my career. Do other things. Maybe meet someone outside skating, settle down, start a family - god, I'm getting sentimental."

Josh laughed.

"You've always been sentimental," he grinned. "Always. You were sentimental at sixteen."

"Yeah," Max smiled ruefully back at him, and they drank in silence for a little while.

"Do you remember the first day here?" Josh asked after a bit.

"Yes," Max laughed. "You were a pipsqueak, so tiny. I didn't believe anyone could be so tiny and do such big jumps."

"And you were so quiet! You didn't even tell anyone about your back, except Tom." Josh frowned. "I hated that, you know."

"Hated what?"

"People call me the injured one, but you had a pretty long list yourself. But you never talked about it, half the time I didn't even know you were injured."

Max shrugged uncomfortably. "I didn't like to talk about it," he said. "It always sounded like excuses to me. Plus, it was never anything serious, not like you."

"All injuries are serious in this sport, Max."

Max sighed. "Can we not with this lecture tonight?"

"You'd rather me start on the sparkle lecture?"

Both men broke down laughing. The argument over rhinestoning their costumes was a well-worn one, revisited at length over many years' friendship.

"So what're you gonna do now?" Josh asked when they stopped. "You're gonna go be a financial nerd?"

"Yeah," Max replied. "I really - the firm is really great. And like, they've taken a big risk on me, just out of college, and I wanna repay that with hard work. And the boss was so nice about the whole Worlds thing. I mean, he knew about this camp before I started there, but not Worlds, I kinda mentioned I was an alternate but I told him I wouldn't get called."

"What'd they say when you told them?"

"They were real great. Said that it was Murphy's law, and asked when I needed leave. Plus, I'm like - doing some triathlon stuff, which is pretty cool. It's a whole different way to train. I like it."

"And triathlons don't have presentation marks," Josh said, accurately.

Max nodded silently.

"What about you?" he asked after a short silence. "I mean, are you - will you...?"

Josh sighed. "Still don't know for sure," he said. "I mean, maybe shows. I'm enjoying coaching right now, and like, some skaters are asking me to choreograph."

"I saw the one you did for Vince."

"Yeah, but it was like, really hard? To do it for another skater? Specially one like Vince. Always wants to jump. Worse than you." Josh poked Max's arm. "I wouldn't mind doing you."

Max snorted coffee up his nose, and flashed Josh a debonair grin and a devilish wink. It took Josh a couple of seconds to get it, and then he slumped over the table laughing.

"Oh my god, you have such a one-track mind."

Max regained his composure.

"How's - what's up with you and Jase?" he asked cautiously. "I heard some stuff, don't know if it's true, but..."

Josh sighed again, and his face took on a strained expression.

"Some days I'm not sure he knows. We'll get through it. We've been through worse. Doesn't help, if he leaves, and you're gone...I mean I'm not completely alone, but it...wouldn't be the same."

Max just grasped Josh's hand, saying nothing.

"Anyway," Josh grinned, "this is your party."

"This is a party?"

"Close to one as we'll get. C'mon, let's drink to your retirement, old man."

"You watch it, whippersnapper. Back in my day..." Max attempted a threatening tone and failed, miserably.

Josh raised his mug.

"To not having regrets."

"To not having regrets," Max laughed, and they drank.

Tomorrow would be Max's first official day as a retired skater. He'd have to tell plenty of old man jokes at the rink tomorrow.

They raised their mugs again, and Max thought that everything seemed just that bit brighter.

**Author's Note:**

> And now I'll just go cry some more.
> 
>  
> 
> There's...probably gonna be a few of these? Cos writing it may be the only way I can process it properly.


End file.
